Friday, April 22, 2011


Here are a few more British bits.
  • Jamie Oliver is a brilliant British chef, healthy eating is a huge focus for him. But he does do the traditional stuff like Shepard's pie and fish & chips.
  • You can find nice home decor items in your home town, but Bodie and Fou has some really great items, be it throw pillows or furniture.
  • Miss Selfridge has some of the cutest damn clothes and accessories I have ever seen.Some are a real bargain as well.
  • I am bat shit crazy in love with The Graham Norton show. It airs on BBC America and it is hilarious. Very naughty and creative.
  • Beautique has a wide selection of beauty products, some american but the real gems are the brands you can't find at the local Sephora.
  • Let's not forget the most important British thing of all.....the men.


I'll add more links if I think of them, but until then here are some films with a British connection you must watch.
Jess


  




Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I have an obsession with the British. The accents, beauty products, fashion trends, television, movies, music, the whole package just does it for me. I ♥ British culture. These are some of my fave british sites to shop. They have the best stuff.


  • Sleek Cosmetics has wonderful beauty products. The eyeshadows have really good pigmentation and some fun colors.
  • Although they have stores in the states now, Topshop was originally a UK store. Their products are trendy, edgy and fun.
  • Butter London is a nail lacquer line created by a brit. The colors will knock your socks off!!! They might seem spendy, but they have excellent staying power and are unique.
  • Bronson is an unbelievable film about one of Britain's most violent prisoners. It's graphic, funny and oddly endearing. Plus, Tom Hardy is always an added bonus, crazy talented and eye meltingly sexy.

Hot Damn!
  • If you want hard to find and unique shoes here in the states, Schuh is the place to look. Their heels are great and there is a large selection.
  • Being Human is a show that I've grown quite fond of. The re runs are on BBC America, but don't confuse it with the US version that started this year. The original version is soooo much better.
That's all I can think of at the moment, hence this being a 2 part post. I'll have the rest of my UK faves posted shortly. Until then god save the queen, bollocks, fish & chips, and all that.....
Jess


 

Thursday, April 14, 2011

This just in from our sister network, it appears that some kind of supernatural phenomenon is taking place as we speak. Green vegetation is forming inside one woman's home and consuming her front porch. It appears to be small it stature, but there plenty of it. Basically..................
I GOT SPROUTS!!!!!
They are small but mighty. I only have a couple in the pots as of now, but I'm excited! I've never been able to grow anything, so this is the cats pajamas man. I also started some veggie seeds to transplant into the garden and they are having a freakin' rager in there neighborhood.
I had to move everything indoors last night due to a bit of a cold snap we are having, but I think I'm just gonna keep my babies inside. Safe from creeps and out of harms way.
We will keep you posted as this story develops.We now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

Jess


I have never been a fan of overly shimmery, sparkly nails. I prefer creme colors, and odd ones at that. I have no idea why, but I am drawn to browns, greys, olives etc. I fell instantly in love with Tauped by Sonia Kashuk.

2 coats is plenty with this pretty, putty colored wonder. I have received more compliments on this shade than any other I have ever worn. It's just such a great brown, gray, lilac combo.
I know it was been out for ages and might be hard to find now (glad I stocked up), but it really has become my go to color. Makes me feel all classy like
Jess


Wednesday, April 13, 2011

#73 Roast the perfect chicken

I committed murder last night. Well, technically I would be an accessory to murder I guess. The end result to this crime was pure deliciousness.

I searched far and wide in the Food Network universe for the perfect recipe. It took literally 4 minutes. It was really more of suggestion anyway, I do what I want in the kitchen!

I got my friend, Mr. Cluckers, mainly because he was free range and anti-biotic free. It was even labeled smart chicken, but lets be honest, if it was so smart how did it end up on my table?

I pre-heated my oven to 425 degrees and blotted Cluckers with paper towels to get rid of moisture on the skin. Makes for a soggy bird.
Next, I sliced an apple into chunks and shoved it in the birds "cavity". Calling it a "cavity" makes it seem so much dirtier than it should. Anyway, the apple doesn't really add flavor but it does help it stay moist.

Then, things got real freaky. I lifted the skin of the bird and placed blocks of butter under it. This also helps it stay moist. And looks bizarre as hell.


Next, I chopped an onion, carrots and celery. These were placed in the bottom of the pan with a little chicken stock to help with moisture and flavor.
I then began seductively massaging a mixture of salt, sugar, black pepper,fresh garlic, parsley, thyme and tarragon all over Cluckers ample breast and firm thighs.

He was placed breast side down and baked at 425. After 15 minutes I dropped the temp to 350 degrees. I basted him every half hour and he loved it!!!!!
2 hours later was the end results. Crispy, golden skin and juicy, luscious meat.
This sounds like a letter to penthouse.

He was delicious and dare I say, perfect.

 Jess


Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Linky Dinks

So, who else is completely obsessed with RuPaul's Drag Race???? I thought the last cast made for good television but DAMN! This year it's all naked asses, on stage mental breakdowns and cat fights galore. I fell in love with Raven last year but I'm all about Raja now, purr. OK, my random ramble is done, on with the linky goodness!!!

  • Etsy is a great site to find unique and often handmade items ranging from throw pillows and bath   salts to nail polish and wall murals. You can really get some outstanding bargains here as well.
  • I have been digging home decor lately and Design Sponge has pretty much everything in one place. Their mini trends are an excellent place to find small touches to spruce up a room.
  • I have a long standing obsession with YouTube makeup tutorials. I am mesmerized by what these people do. Two of the best are Pixiwoo and TiffanyD. Check out their blogs, truly talented little cosmetics wizards.
  • If you are ever looking for a new and exciting recipe or menu Yumsugar is the place to go. They cover pretty much every aspect of food. And their cocktail recipes are to die for.
  • I have been thinking about chopping my hair off recently, which is a huge deal to me cuz my hair is crazy long right now. I'm talking like Blake Lively long. Beautyriot has shown me SOOOOO many options. Whether it gets chopped or stays hippie, It's nice to know I always have options.

Alright party people, enjoy the links, I gots me some gorgeous queens to get back to.
Jess


Audrey Hepburn is an icon. She made the little black dress a staple for every woman's closet. Her face was jaw dropping and her style was stunning.
So why would China Glaze's tribute polish be anything less????
For Audrey is a gorgeous creme finish. It's the instantly recognizable Tiffany blue. The robin's egg color works great on a ton of skin tones.

I know this shade has been out for ages, but I just recently snagged it because it screamed spring. The color goes on opaque after two coats and it doesn't chip as easy as other China Glaze colors.

So thank you Miss Hepburn, for the great films, the little black dress, the timeless beauty and inspiring this amazing varnish.

Monday, April 11, 2011

#11 Grow an herb garden

Ahhh mother nature, how I love you. I rolled out of my burrow at 8am for you. I provided a flesh-lunch for your fly children. I even had a near run in with a worm (gag!),  just to give back to you. And what do I get as a thank you??? a sunburn and a throbbing back. Mother nature, you're kind of a bitch but I still love ya.

With the GORGEOUS weather we have been having I decided it was high time to get cracking on the herb garden. Keep in mind, I have never grown anything in my life. Unless you count a seething hatred for animal abusers, that has been growing for 28 years.

Anyhow, I made a midnight trek to Satan-Mart and stocked up on all my necessities:

1.) Big bag of dirt


                                                                  2.) Seeds a plenty
 3.) Experienced assistant

4.) High tech soil transporter and pots
5.) Most kick ass watering can in human history
I took my blue and yellow pots and filled each one 3" from the top with my soil. It's miracle grow so I think it's been blessed by the garden gods or something. Next, I took my little, bitty pinkie and started poking little holes for my seed babies. Then I slapped their asses into their holes and covered them with 1/4" of soil.

After they were tucked all snug into their dirty beds, I watered them with my poodle.

 Don't they look happy???

Now, whether these will successfully grow or not I have no idea. I'm just glad I made the effort and I feel good about doing something with nature. I have to admit, I think I got bit by the gardening bug. 2 hours after I took these photos I planted 20 strawberry plants. Tomorrow I will be tilling up a 20' x 20' area to start work on my veggie garden. So bring on the bug bites and sunburn, I'm ready for ya.
Mother Nature you sucked me in.........bitch.



Tuesday, April 5, 2011




Don't act like your not as impressed and disturbed as I am.

-Jess

Monday, April 4, 2011

Linky Dinks

The past couple days I have spent the majority of my time reading ridiculous articles and watching mindless videos on the "net" (that's what the cool kids call it). Suprisingly, I did find a few flowers among the piles of crap.  Enjoy.
  • Kim Kardashian is kind of a genius. Her shopping site, Shoedazzle, is bloody brilliant. You are shown 3 pictures of various fashion items, click which one you like the most, and it compiles a personal profile about your style. It then suggest items you may like, or you can shop on your own. Best part it, all the shoes are no more than $39.95! Plus, you build up points toward free items. 

  • I am a cosmetics whore. It's true and I can admit that. I try to stay committed to certain items, but can't. I need variety and the thrill of new things. Make up and beauty blog is a dream come true for me. Karen, the site owner, swatches and reviews a ton of products. She gives an honest opinion on the quality of the products and it is much appreciated. She's kinda like my beauty pimp.

  • One of my greatest joys in life is being entertained while learning something. Cracked is best known a satirical comedy site, but you actually do learn things. Check out this article, who knew we were pooing and breathing wrong for all these years?

  • I love Conan O'Brien. Plain and simple. Team Coco just adds fuel to my stalker fire.

  • Lush is one of my favorite beauty companies for a number of reasons. The biggest being that they are completely cruelty free. You ♥ animals, I ♥ you. The second being that there products are amazing. They feel so decadent and luxurious, yet they are made from totally natural ingredients.
That's all for now folks. I got a hot date with my bath tub and some aromatherapy candles.
-Jess

Sunday, April 3, 2011

#133 Visit a butterfly house

I have always loved butterflies. They are so delicate and fragile, yet they do some of the hardest migrations on earth. Where I live you pretty much just see the Monarch, so I jumped at the chance to be locked in a building with every butterfly you could imagine. They could not escape me!!!!!


There were winged beauties everywhere in this joint. I was in Heaven......until he came along.

I believe in spanish he is known as El Diablo

This fluttering jerk started diving at my face like it was his job. I have never really been afraid of bugs, but I will admit that this day, I ran from a butterfly. It was like he knew I was there to photograph and exploit his kind and he wanted REVENGE!!

Finally, after many evasive maneuvers, I was free from his evil shenanigans.

 Doesn't this look like Nemo?

I named him Cyclops

Even tho I was stalked and almost killed, it was amazing being surrounded by these creatures

-Jess

#147 See the world's biggest__________


Gnomes. Small, colorful, cute/ borderline creepy. I enjoy the occasional gnome as much as the next person, but when I heard rumblings that the worlds largest gnome was on my turf my mission was clear. Find that big bastard and photograph it!!!!

Ok, so it really wasn't as much of an epic adventure as I made it out to be, but it was chilly that day and I'm very delicate!!!!


Meet Elwood. This beautiful concrete giant stands a whopping 15 feet tall and weighs in at more than 3,500 pounds.  He was living at Reiman Gardens when I first met him.  There is no possible way you can be around him an not be smiling. I was freezing my ass off AND I had to pee, but I still enjoyed our encounter. Until we meet again, my dear, sweet Elwood.

-Jess

#69 Attempt to make rainbow cupcakes

The first item I picked to scratch off the list is a small one. Compared to many others this one looks like a breeze. A tiny, little speck of a challenge. It's just baking, I would have no problems, right? 

WRONG!

The Internet, which never lies, said all I had to do was just mix up a white cake mix, divide it into 6 bowls, color each one and then layer the colored batters in my liners and bake. So I did. And this happened......

10 minutes into baking it looked like Elton John(♥) and RuPaul(double ♥) threw up all over my baking pan. Turns out less is more when it comes to layering the batter, who knew?? So I returned back to the salt mines and whipped up another batch of colors. 
Apparently the baking gods decided to show me a little bit of mercy because this batch was glorious!

The layering wasn't perfect but damn it, I did it!  Score one for this chick.


 Tie dye butterflies were the finishing touch.
-Jess


The List. Just the thing to get me out of my funk and living life. Carpe Diem and all that.


Well, screw carpe diem, look at this friggin' thing! I gotta be insane to try and complete every thing on here. Maybe I got a little over ambitious with it's creation? Maybe the combination of insomnia and too much imagination got the better of me? Or maybe it's perfect. Ahh, The List.

1.Learn to speak Italian

2. Go to a movie alone

3. Create a piece of pottery

4. Learn to snowboard

5. Sing karaoke

6. Skydive

7. Ride a mechanical bull

8. Fire a handgun

9. Ride a zip line

10. Go firwalking

11. Grow an herb garden

12. Learn to knit

13. Read 100 books

14. Learn to juggle

15. Milk a cow

16. Play pool like a phenom

17. Make soap

18. Bungee Jump

19. Be an extra in a film

20.Ride a float in a gay pride parade

21. Cook every recipe in one cookbook

22.Take up photography

23. Donate plasma

24. Own a pub

25. Adopt a shelter pet

26. Get married

27. Make yoga my bitch

28. Spend St. Patty's in Boston

29. See a musical on Broadway

30. Become an early riser

31. Become a poker bad ass

32. Live in a foreign country for 6 months

33. Pet a tiger

34. Write a cookbook

35. Drive route 66

36. Ride a gondola in Venice

37. Attend an NHL game

38. Hot wire a car

39. Mud wrestling

40. Quit a job I hate

41.Attend a midnight Rocky Horror screening

42. Try 5 exotic fruits
( Jackfruit, Passion fruit, Lychee, Mangosteen, Dragonfruit)

43.Go to Disney world

44. Ride a cable car in San Fran

45. Vegas baby!

46. See the northern lights

47. Tell mom I love her

48. Learn French

49. Attend Mardi Gras

50. Sell something I created

51. Visit Ireland

52.Visit London

53. Learn to ice skate

54. Fire walking

55. Cliff diving

56. See the Acropolis and Parthenon in Greece

57. Visit Stonehenge

58. See the Coliseum in Rome

59. Explore the Smithsonian in D.C.

60. Spend a week in Paris

61. Learn astrology

62. Experience bliss

63. Start meditating

64. Watch every Best Picture nominee....ever
(64/485 films)

65. Write a travel book

66. Learn to forgive

67. Go to Pikes Place market in Seattle

68. Ballroom dancing dominance

69. Attempt to make Rainbow cupcakes

70. Hula in Hawaii

71.Learn to throw knives like a damn assassin

72. Listen to jazz in The French Quarter

73. Roast the perfect chicken

74. Cook Thanksgiving dinner from scratch, all alone

75. Try 10 bizarre foods ( Baby octopus and frog legs done!)

76. Participate in an all out food brawl

77. Visit Chinatown in San Fran

78. See MOMA in New York

79. Visit the Natural History Museum in New York

80. Escape from Handcuffs

81. Master beer pong

82.Attempt to be a vegan

83. Spend a day as a drag queen

84. Ride a skateboard and not bust my ass

85. Change a tire

86. Throw someone a surprise party

87.Feng shui a room properly

88. Make sushi that won't result in a hospital stay

89. Grill the perfect steak

90. Get a pedicure

91. Learn to pick locks

92. Build my own campsite and fire

93.Walk on my hands, no face plants allowed.

94. Learn to give excellent back massages

95. Sneak backstage at a concert

96. Make fresh pasta

97. Attempt kickboxing

98. Build a home bar

99. Learn mixology

100. Trapeze

101. Bake bread

102.Vacation solo

103. Make my own perfume

104. Dive in fully clothed

105. Gamble and win

106. Meet someone famous

107. Smoke hookah

108. Vacation with my best friend

109. Try botox

110. Grow fruit trees

111. Plant a veggie garden

112. Learn to drive like Steve McQueen

113. Visit 5 tacky tourist traps

114. Spend $500 on clothes in one day

115. Make a cookbook of moms recipes

116. Volunteer at an animal shelter

117. Complete a family tree

118. Ultimate scavenger hunt

119. Grow a butterfly garden

120. Feed a zebra

121. Hold a HUGE snake

122. Build a giant sandcastle, complete with moat

123. Open a bakery

124. Shark cage

125. Visit the 10 biggest roller coaster in the states

126. Watch a drive in movie

127. Drink "the boot"

128. Witness a solar eclipse

129. Watch a meteor shower

130. Catch a foul ball

131. Sculpt something

132. Ride a tandem bike

133. Visit a butterfly house

 
134. Play in the pouring rain

135. Master British Pub Grub

136. Watch all 6 Star Wars movies in a row

137. Ride a double decker bus

138. See a play in The West End

139. Help delive a baby animal

140. Start a random dance in a public place

141. Kick a field goal

142. Pay for a strangers meal

143. Volunteer at a soup kitchen

144. Sew an article of clothing and wear it

145. Golf 18 holes

146. Hug a stranger

147. See the worlds largest ________


 This is all I got for now, suggestions are more than welcome. Let the madness begin.

-Jess



So this majestic creature is my official blog mascot, Sgt. Pepper. He is my adorable child and I spoil him far too much. This dog gets away with murder, but come on, look at that mug, how could you not Love him??

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