Thursday, July 14, 2011

We are in the process of repairing a recently purchased house, sounds simple right???? Wrong!!! This house was a daycare until May of this year and it was a disgusting, filthy one at that. I was having visions of this being like a HGTV show but it's nothing like that.....yet. We are slowly making progress from what it was. Figured I would  start doing weekly posts about how it's going. These are the initial pictures:

Looks like a bunch of clowns blew up in a meth lab

That's right, it's a fence.

That pink will burn the eyes

I just wanna dance!!!!

Disco Zebra

and again

Nastiest bath/shower in history is no longer alive

Notice the lovely lime trim. Really give s the room character.
Pray for this home and me

#117 Complete a family tree

First things first, I am convinced it is impossible to "complete" a family tree. So far I have traced my mothers side all the way back to 904 A.D. and it still wants to keep going.  I didn't think I would enjoy doing it but it really is interesting and sucks you in. I always jokingly refer to myself as "white trash" but turns out  I come from royalty. Very, very, very distant royalty :).  Some of those I have stumbled across have been Alexander the I of Scotland, The "Black Count" of Anjou (he was all sorts of sane), Templar Knights and numerous titles such as Knight, Lady, Duke, and Earl.

I'm not finding anything at all on my fathers side. I don't really know a whole lot about him to begin with. I met him once when I was 8, he brought his other daughters with him and they stole my one of my Barbie dolls. I told my mom I didn't want to be around them ever again. She listened. I received birthday cards for a few years after that but don't really even remember opening them.  I had my mom and step father,that's all I needed.

I would like to be able to trace my roots on his side, but not enough to contact him for information.

Ancestry. com has been awesome, I strongly encourage you to subscribe if you are interested in this sort of thing. You can view mine right here.


In 1991 Terminator 2 graced movie screens and I had a bejsus scared out of me. The T2000 terminator was the worst thing I had ever seen just for the fact he was liquid metal, could change into anyone,  and WOULD NOT FREAKIN' DIE! Basically, he was pure evil.
Don't tell me this wouldn't make you piss your pants when you were 9 years old.

He was always running, melting, morphing and poking parts of him thru people. And not in a nice, friendly way. Well guess what buddy?? I'm older, my pants are dry and I no longer fear liquid metal.
In fact, I happen to love it now.

I got my grubby little hands on 2 of Illamasqua Liquid Metal pots and a Pure Pigment. These products are amazeballs.

The Liquid Metals are in the shades Solstice and Superior.
Solstice is the best gold item I have ever owned. It goes on so opaque it's almost like a paint for your skin. I have used it on my eyes, as a highlighter on my cheeks and as a lip color. It is so versatile, one of my friends puts it down the front of her legs as a highlight for her tan.

 Superior is plain and simply gorgeous. I've never been a huge blue fan but this is such a deep, rich blue it's making me change my ways. I wore it in an eye look yesterday and 2 people asked what I was wearing. It's got the perfect amount of shimmer and would work well for evening looks year round.
 It's also very buildable color.
Keep in mind I have oily skin and am prone to eye shadow creasing so I never wear creams, but these did not crease in the slightest.

 The Pure Pigment I got is in the shade Android. It is a great black with tons of silver shimmer. It is a super fine powder and you only need to use the smallest amount. It reminds me of a night sky full of starts, all dark with little, sparkling diamonds.  I think it is ideal for smokey eye looks.

L to R: Android, Solstice and Superior

This was a super fast 5 minute look using Solstice and Android. Horrible picture but you get the idea. They are easy to blend, great to work with and hold up to wear really well.

You can snag these darlings at Illamasqua's website.


So it seems as of late people have picked up a new hobby, being close minded.
Every single one of us is guilty of judging another person for whatever reason, but some people are just ridiculous. Hate to break it to you but you can't walk on water and the sun does not shine out of your ass!!!!!  Not everyone is going to agree with your views, be what you think they should be and conform to what is "normal". I love the differences people have and the fact that "normal" is being redefined everyday. It's hard to be yourself and be vulnerable when you have people telling you your life is wrong. Just keep in mind no one made them judge and jury, so rock on however you express yourself and just be you, you will be loved for it.

My list of quirks, oddities and vulnerabilities:

1. I have an irrational fear of death, especially suffocation.

2. I have seen aliens and no one will ever be able to tell me otherwise. I can not watch them on TV or I will have a panic attack. The movie Signs is my nightmare.

3. I love my friends and family unconditionally. I worry about them constantly and their health. It makes me cry a lot.

4. I hope one day teleportation is a reality, cause I'm a horrible driver. It makes me insecure driving with my friends sometimes.

5. Some days I really, truly hate myself because of my appearance.

6. I don't always like my family. I feel extremely guilty about it, but we just don't see eye to eye

7. I own every color of Sharpie and they have to be in rainbow order.

8. I believe love is the most important thing there is.

9. I view my dog and cat as my children. I have thrown people out of my home to pushing my dog off my couch and slapped a girl for kicking at my cat.

10. I am more comfortable around males than females. Females are too judgemental of one another.

11. I am 29 years old and still don't feel like a grown up.

12. I have moments on major immaturity. Cupcakes always turn into weapons around me.

13. The pin in my neck that allows my head to rotate tilts at an angle, so my head sits kinda funny.

14. I get deja vu alot and sometimes it really scares me. The other night watching " Mob Wives" of all things I had it, from a dream I had 3 years ago. Everything was exactly how I had written it (I keep a dream journal, my shit gets weird sometimes.)

15. I believe in ghosts, but I don't think they are here to harm anyone.

16. Anything booger related will make me dry heave/vomit immediately.

17. Music is a huge thing for me.

18. I have horrible impulse control. My temper gets the better of me alot, but I am working on it and it has improved.

19. I have never lost a game of Scene it.

20. I sleep better when I hear a heartbeat or breathing near me.

21. I could hurt a person before I can hurt an animal.

22. I have supercrazy looking feet and they can punch people.

23. I'm alot stronger than I give myself credit for.

24. I'm a huge dork and love things like bowling, go carts and mini golf.

25. I am a complete film snob. I admit to judging others by the movie collections

26. I am a huge supporter of gay rights. I am not gay myself, but I feel some of the things that are done and said in regards to it being "wrong" are just ludicrous.

So that's me in a nutshell, it's not always fun or pretty but it's honest.  Life isn't always bright and beautiful, it's grimy and twisted. But you have to take the good with the bad. I would hate to live in a cookie cutter, picket fence world, give me my dirt and rainbows any day :)


Monday, July 4, 2011

I love summer as much as the next guy, but this summer is kinda sucking the big one so far. It seems to be raining every other day, so when it's drizzling away outside, I have been turning into a TV junkie. 

  • I have been completely obsessed with True Blood since it premiered back in 2008. Highly entertaining and the cast isn't to hard on the eyes either.

Would not kick these men out of my bedroom
  • I know I have mentioned it before but 1 Girl 5 Gays still has my heart. I can not get enough of this show. If your not a close minded asshole check it out.
  • From the first episode of Sons of Anarchy I was hooked. This show is gritty and sometimes the actions of some characters are horrid, but it really seems to be about the club and family, as twisted as it is.
  • Dexter is your run of the mill forensics blood spatter expert also happens to be a serial killer of killers show. It's a laugh riot!!!! Seriously tho, it is a fantastic show with great acting and even better writing.
  • I know it's horrible but I love crude, offensive humor. So it's only natural that I love the shit out of  It's always sunny in Philadelphia. These characters are the most self centered, dim witted group of  so called friends I have ever seen, and I love every tawdry minute of it.
  • First off let me say I think Weeds is fabulous but I am less than thrilled  with Nancy Botwin. The show is always interesting and entertaining, but I give the supporting characters credit for that. I  wanna see what Andy, Doug and Silas are doing, not Nancy. She is an idiot who makes idiot choices and is selfish. But other than that I love the show.
  • And lastly, my precious, precious Glee. I put off watching this show till the it came out of DVD, I thought it looks cheesy and didn't like all the hype it received. I was dead wrong. the show is witty, tongue in cheek, touching, funny and flat out awesome.
Well I'm off to light some fireworks and possibly blow my hand off. I strongly encourage you to check out these shows if you already haven't. And If you do and hate them??? Hate mail me.

I love things that look like something familiar, yet are actually completely different. Like a stick bug or a skort (ok, not so much a skort) but you get the idea.  Well, this beautiful 4th of July I decided to do some trickery and freak everyone out, but with food. I present to a little thing I like to call:
Cupcake Illusions!!!!!!!

The fourth of July means picnics, patriotism and evil sparklers (step on a hot sparkler wire with bare feet then say they aren't evil!). Since I can't bake patriotism or fireworks (holy bad idea), I went with a picnic theme.
Kitchen chaos
These little nibbles are so easy to create. I just used a yellow and a chocolate cake mix, canned white frosting, food color and a little creativity.

Bake the cupcakes as the box directs and wait for them to cool.

While they are baking, divide you frosting into 5 bowls and dye red, yellow, green, pink and black. 

For the corn:
 Using yellow icing in a pastry bag frost the some yellow cakes. Top with buttered popcorn and lemon drop Jelly Belly's. Stick with corn skewers for added cuteness.


Using either flavor of cupcake, frost the outer edge of the cake with green icing. Next, using a star tip, pipe pink icing to fill the middle. Top with random black icing "seeds".


Slice yellow cakes in half to make buns. Cut the bottom off the chocolate cake for the burger patty.
Pipe green "lettuce" on bottom but, top with chocolate cake, pipe red "ketchup" and yellow "mustard" and top with remaining yellow cake. You can top with sugar to look like sesame seeds, but I forgot.

These are super cute and so simple to make it should be criminal.

A perfect picnic lunch!

- Jess